Day- 39 Homelessrob VS. God

I will loose! I'm fine with that. For those of you what have read any bit of my blog you know or might have a feeling that I am a bit religious.  I have try to keep that portion of my life off this blog, with the exception of the crosses I'm attempting to make. For the most part I don't talk about it too much. However, today that changes. For those of you that are not religious (I'm sorry!) just know that I'm still going to keep a focus on the subject (homelessness) at hand and try to keep the religious stuff down to a minimum. After all, you didn't google "homelessness" to be preached to.

Today my questions were answered. I almost didn't get up. Its like my alarm clock just would not die. I hit all the buttons but still every 4 minuets it would go off again. So, I got up...... and I went to a  church. Wow, writing that line is a miracle all it's own. If you go back a few blog post (or more) you will see a post I did called "Even Homeless People Get Lucky Sometimes". I told a story about how I was caught sleeping somewhere I shouldn't have been and was let go by a man that was religious under my word that I would never return to that spot (I haven't either).

Maybe that story plays a role here. I think it might. Anyway, around that time I knew a man who was sleeping across the street in some brush. I believe I have talked about him before as well. Well, I started running into him at Day Labor a few weeks ago. One day he and I wound up on a "work ticket" together and we started talking. This is where I tell you that other homeless people can sometimes be a world of information. He told he about a nearby church that offered a shower and breakfast every Saturday morning.

Today I had the greatest shower I have ever had in my life. So, there I was, alarm going off, just trying to go back to sleep, when I was called........ GO! GO TO THIS CHURCH! I went! I do believe that move might have changed my life a little. I got the message.

I've been a  Christan for about the same amount of time that I have been homeless (the first time). I can honestly say this one thing about the two: I never feel closer to God as when I'm on the streets homeless! Its true. Over the years I have learned that God will lift me up. God will take care of me. God will provide. I have seen God put me systematically on paths that have even taken me off the streets. God has loved me, cared for me, and been with me through it all. I always know that rather sleeping on a public bench, storage unit, public bathroom alone, God is sleeping there with me. I know this. I believe in Him. I have witnessed His grace first hand.

The shame, is how much I forget these things when I'm not homeless! Today, I was told what a fool I have been. Now, someone might say about me: "he's only a Christian when he wants something from God" and honestly, that's how I feel sometimes. However, I have come to the conclusion that that just can't be true.  Its because I was being a "good Christian" in my hard time that brought me to these conclusions about God and what He was doing for me. Yes see, I could have given up on God. It took a long time before He lifted me off the streets the first time. I had many opportunities to toss my Bible away. But I didn't! I stayed in the Word and continued to build my relationship with Christ. Because of that I was able to see all the wonderful things He could do, and above all else, I felt his love for me.

But fall short I have! Its not that I forget God when I have a roof over my head. I stay in prayer - I just didn't go to church and stay in the book like I should have. That pattern has taken its toll.

So, today I'm at this church and I'm listening to this guy talking about "reinforcement". I wasn't totally getting what he was saying at first. Then it hit me. That was the first time I had been in church and listened to anyone speak in awhile. I was being told.... being told to reinforce my life with God. Look, I've been working on making these crosses for about 39 days now and have gotten nowhere. God told me to do this. Then God makes it hard to do it. It makes sense now. How am I going to go out into the world and give away crosses and talk about homelessness, expecting to reach my goal, without being sharp minded about God first? I need to reinforce, then get to working on the goal. Well it made sense to me.

Doesn't being homeless and faith in God go hand in hand? Watching a friend of mine (- very good friend of mine. One that actually walks the walk when it comes to God. Well, he does his best and it shows-) before I became homeless and I learned this: A smart Christian will not give a homeless person money. A good Christian will give a homeless person something they need like food, drink, blanket. Some of the brightest people I have ever known in the streets could spit Bible verses out with the best of them. LOL, I have found that looks can be very deceiving sometimes. In fact, the most beat down, washed up, soap deprived, homeless person I have ever seen wouldn't say a single sentence without the word "God" in it.

I forgot where I was going with all of this exactly. I just think its amazing! So, God says to me: "help bring the homeless into light. Prove to them they can make things better. Give them a story. And do it through ME. After your work is done you will have your goal reached". At least that what I think I've been hearing. It's like an echo in my head. I just have to have my heart into it first.

Thank You for trying to understand my scattered thoughts.

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