LOL, I read that if I want more people to see my blog I need better titles. I'm working on it. So, its been three weeks now and I'm still alive. However, things are not as good right now as I had expected. Its taking too long to get things done and I should be a little further ahead than I actually am. Once again, this is due mostly to not having an address.
Stay focused! This is a big deal to anyone who is homeless. This is largely why I tell you to stay so-lo. Stay away from other homeless people - or anyone that is a destruction to your plans - for that matter. It is very easy as a homeless person to constantly be shifting ideas in your head. Mostly because you have time and you are already aggravated. Then, when things don't quite work out right you start double guessing your ideas, thoughts, and goals. The last thing you need is someone in your head saying "ya man, you shouldn't waste your time with that when you could be doing this. Here, let me come with you"! Believe me, that's exactly what someone out to get to you will say.
Three weeks of waiting and bad luck. But its something I feel I need to do to help me hit my goal. Got to suck it up and press on. Stay focused!
Today I added a few things to my backpack: 3 towels that I got for $2; a bottle of body wash, and A few new pairs of socks. All much needed. However, it's making my pack heavy. That's actually mostly due to having my computer in it. My computer takes up a lot of space and causes much weight. I hate that. I have only a few options. First, dump the computer. Second, get another bag that I can stash along with the other one I have stashed in the woods right now. Last, reorganize what I have now better. I'm thinking that's the best way to go. I need everything I have at this moment.
The same night I wrote you "day-1" was hard. Its always the first night that's the worst. What made this super hard was that it was raining and I had my bag (n wheels) with me. I had a clue as to where I was going. It was pouring hard though.
So, I was walking down the street soaking wet when a saw a woman in a Blazer coming out of a church parking lot. She pulled up in front of me and rolled the window down. This was the conversation:
Her: Do you need a ride somewhere?
Me: No, Miss!
Her: Where are you trying to get to?
Me: Just down the street - not far! Miss, Its OK I'm fine! Thank You!
Her: Where do you live?
Me: (This I never say to anyone I don't have to... this part rarely ever comes out of my mouth! But I said it anyways) Miss, I'm homeless! I have no where to go!
Even in the dark I could see the look on her face. The look in her eyes. Not pity! It was more shame and sorrow! And not for me! She was humble!
What happened next was not a surprise to me (completely) but it was a shock to her.
She opened the center console between the two front seats and started shifting through it. LOL, That was when I started yelling at her. "NO, NO, NO You will not do this" LOL! And I meant it. And she knew I did. She pulled her hand out and tossed hme a package of 6 peanutbutter crackers! LOL! Right before she drove off I said "Thank you, you did the right thing here"! She drove off with a look of respect on her face that I'll never forget. I have not seen her since then.
Don't take what you don't need! This woman in the blazer was not gonna give me money. But she knew I wasn't going to take it, either. This whole thing was about a minute long. Inside that one minute I earned her respect and possibly even changed her view on homeless people. "How could a homeless person not accept what he and I both know he wants, whether he needs it or not"? Truth be told, I did want money! But I had some and knew that nothing she gave me was gonna make my night better. That's why I wasn't going to take it if offered. The respect I earned from her was priceless anyways!
Respect will probably not get you off the streets. But the affects of being respected by others is worth wild.
I don't talk about being homeless. Ive gone long periods of time being homeless with large groups of friend that never knew. I hide it very well. I'd rather do things the hard way. How can I maintain something that was given to me when I couldn't maintain the same thing when I earned it before by myself?
So, don't take what you don't need just because you can. And earn respect! This will help you feel better about being homeless. Homeless people often feel they are being looked down on. I don't feel that way. I will be respected! I will stay focused!
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