I thought I would take today off from blogging and posting, but I decided not to. However, I did get some much-needed rest this morning. I couldn't find my tent last night. That's how good I have it hidden. LOL, I was up all night walking through brush, getting all scraped up, looking for it. I never found it. I found out this morning that I had been close to it a few times. I had put some "x"s on the ground to help me find my way to it. But one of the "X's was off by about 10 feet. 10 feet is a lot when you are in brush, let me tell you. But, like I said "when one door closes another one opens" and this was the case last night.
After I couldn't find my tent I walked walked onto a path (an easy to find path) which lead me to the back end of an apartment complex. This was good news. I found a few resources there by sneaking around. I found a pool that I could get access to. Of course that wouldn't do me much good in the cold. But I do know that near a public pool you can usually find a shower. Nonetheless, I did jump into the pool. It felt good getting the sweet off me from trolling around the woods for 2 hours. LOL!
Homeless tip: If you decide to pitch a tent, make sure you can find it.
At the complex I also found the laundry room with easy access, a bathroom (which I slept in last night) and I'm pretty sure I saw someone using a complex WiFi in the back in a gazebo (which I have access to). All of these things I can find useful.
I get very mad sometimes. I need you (the reader) to understand that. I've been at this for some time now and it still hasn't gotten any easier for me. Sure, I have made it up before. But the falls that I have had after I've made it up make me think if I'm just destined for this life. I'm 32 years old and some struggle in life is understandable. But after awhile, it gets to me.
Everywhere I go it gets worse. And being around people with normal lives is hard. One thing that gets me upset is when I'm standing somewhere and see people in their cars. I always woulder "so many people with cars, why cant I have one? What makes that person so special? Whats the secret?"
I think like this often. It gets me mad! I used to have a car. I miss having a car. Right now I'd be happy with a scooter. Just being around people and knowing that I'm different is hard. I cant have a place to sleep, I can't have a woman, I can't do fun things, I can't even have what is mine (my kids). Normalcy is just a another word I can't even spell.
Sometimes when I get around people that don't know I'm homeless and deep inside my mind I just want them all to suffer because they have better lives than I have. That sucks because I know that's not really me. That's the homeless guy taking over. Its hard to explain. I just hate being around people and events where people are breaking up for the night to go home (church is a classic for this one)! This is where the questions usually come! "Do you need a ride?", "Where do you live?" I feel like everyone is just standing there waiting for me to say it: "I'm homeless". hhhhhhhh
I wish this all was different! But for the time this is the hand I was dealt and if I'm gonna make it out I just got to deal with it.
The weekend is over and I'm happy because I might get to work in the morning. I need the money really bad now. I got to keep working on my plan.
I apologize to you (the reader) for my bad attitude the last few posts. I jest get overwhelmed. And I'm doing everything I can so people can witness what and how I think and believe, and what homeless life is like.
Don't have too many stash spots. I have one stash spot and what is now my new camp ground. Tonight I'm going to move my stuff to my camp. Having too many stash spots will overwhelm you to death. Its hard enough that you have to walk everywhere to get just the little things done (shower, food, a shelter). You don't need a bunch of extra walking to do because you have things scattered all over the place. For example, to have your towel, but the soap is in another place a mile away. Keep everything as together as you can and try to keep the walking to a minimum. Also, that will help keep your shoes lasting longer and you do need to consider that.
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