Last week I was on a "work ticket". I was unloading trucks with another guy. I met several truck drivers. You might find this hard to believe but I'm actually a pretty quiet guy. I didn't talk to much to any of the drivers. They just kind of hung out and did their own thing while I did mine. However, this one driver stood out. He was wearing a hat that said "I love Jesus". I walked around working, not really thinking too much about him, other than his hat. I certainly didn't think he would soon be crying to me.
It all started with 4 little words: "I love Jesus too". The words just slipped out of my mouth to him. It was the only thing I had even said to him. Soon he was talking to me. He told me about how he travels around in his truck and gives out the same hat he was wearing. He said it was his way of planting seeds. Then he started telling me about his wife. She died of cancer. They had been together for about 24 years (if I remember right). Something told me to just listen to him. Let him say whatever he needed to. I did. And it didn't take long before I saw the tears. The man got ahold of himself pretty quick (I don't think he wanted anyone else to see him). Then he hopped into his truck where he stayed for about 10 minutes. Then he came out after I was finished working and gave me a "I love Jesus" hat and went on his way. I stood there waiting for my next truck thinking to myself "what just happened?" The answer was simple....... I listened!
Recently, I have been getting messages and emails from people. Its because of this blog and how I post it. These messages are far more than I ever expected to get. People are saying things to me I never thought I would ever hear. One woman called me "special". She doesn't know how or why she feels this way, it just is what is is.
People are also telling me their stories. I have to tell you, some of the things I read break my heart, that's the truth! No one has had anything bad to say about my blog (I'm grateful for that). The encouragement and motivation and praise are more than I deserve.
As for the stories - I don't know if I can handle that! I don't know if I'm cut out for it. Don't get me wrong, I love hearing from people and I certainly love the responses I get. I appreciate it all. I just don't know if I can handle it. I'm not going to stop what I'm doing! I owe it to more than just myself to keep blogging. I also know that I'm going to get a lot more emails before I reach my goal (if I ever do). But what I'm learning now is that through this blog I have a responsibility. These stories I read and the messages are not just a privilege for me but a responsibility also. I understand that!
When I started doing this blog 66 days ago I had no idea what I was doing. I knew just to be as honest as possible and just start talking and posting. I never really expected anything to come from it. Maybe just a "good luck" here or there. I didn't expect to make new friends. I didn't expect to get a new-found relationship with The Man! I didn't expect anyone to really even care or listen, to be honest. 4 years ago I didn't expect to ever be homeless either.
When the truck driver was telling me his story I felt uncomfortable. When a reader tells me his or her story I feel uncomfortable. I have a hard time with it. "I have my own stuff to weep about" I say to myself. Even as I write this I can feel my eyes swelling. Its hard for me! It also makes me think about my girls a lot too. I miss them!
I want you (my reader) to know that I care about you. All of you! I have been saying that I believe to fight homelessness we, as a people, need to practice "self suffer". I believe that what we need is to be able to come out of our "comfort zones" and sometimes do things we are not comfortable with. In light of that, I want to hear from you, regardless of how uncomfortable it makes me feel. I want to hear your story. I'm no one special! There is surly nothing great about me, that's the truth! But if you made the time to read my story, then I'll certainly make it a point to hear yours.
Thank you all for your kind words, your encouragement, and you ability to reach out to me when it matters to me the most. You keep me going! You are special - that's the truth!
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