Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Day - 84 Shame, Shame, Homelessness...... Shame On You!

When it comes to homelessness there is no shortage of shame to go around. Shame about being dirty. Shame about eating God knows where or what. Shame about sleeping outside. Shame about what people think and say about you. Shame about asking for money. Shame about being at the mercy of others.

The list goes on and on. For an already homeless person living in shame is a given, that only goes away with comfort. Comfort found in homelessness (ironically).

Truth be told, you don't even need to be homeless before you feel shame creeping its was into your life. You might not have ever been homeless before but the mere thought of it brings you to shame. Shame that you failed. Sham that you couldn't provide for your loved ones. Shame that you lost or are about to lose your life.

Then it gets worse, just like most things you are new to thinking about, you start seeing and hearing about it everywhere you go.There is a homeless add on T.V. Then you start seeing homeless people everywhere- street corners, benches, parks. Then you form a mental picture in your head of you being homeless.  Then you start thinking "that's what I'm going to become". Next thing you know, shame has then found a home in you and homelessness is ready to pounce all over you and sink its hooks in you.

The reality is that despite what you think, it could have always been you! Don't kid yourself, you were never that special snowflake you thought you were. Whatever made you ever think it could never be you, left you! Greater people have fallen victim to homelessness. As far as homelessness goes you are just another notch on a belt.

I'm not here to laugh at you or pick on you. I just know that the sooner you come to that conclusion the better off you will be. So, I said it! Sorry! Actually, what I'm going to tell you I hope will help you.

Believe it not, feeling shame before you become homeless can be a good thing. However, most people don't use it in a good way. Believe me when I tell you that shame will literally make people run right into homelessness. That's right, they feel the shame of homelessness and run right into it. They usually even try to find ways to justify it as well.

Here is a very common one: "I need to minimize my life".  I see this all the time. By saying that what people are really doing is saying "here I am homelessness, just remember I came to you first before you could find me so you have to take it easy on me". And believe me when I tell you that homelessness will NOT treat you any better just because you had a hand out.

I see this all the time, too. People see homelessness coming and the shame of it causes them to justify it. Then they either run into homelessness or try to run away from homelessness. Either way you go, I promise you this: You are only going to make matters worse. How can you minimize a life that was already going to be minimized? Sure, you could have done that BEFORE you were about to be homeless. Now, its too late!

I'm sorry for that, I swear to God I am.

So, this is what I advise for you: When you start to feel that shame sinking in DO NOT PANIC!!!!! Do not make drastic choices. Do not try to settle into a life of homelessness. DO NOT, IN ANY WAY, STICK OUT YOUR HAND TO HOMELESSNESS. Don't make up excuses..... "Oh well, the weather will be cold, and since I'm going to be homeless I should move across the country". Use your brain! Because, what all this really is, is a way for you to deal with the shame.

When it come to homelessness you are going to feel shame all the way thought until you are comfortable with homelessness. There is no way around it! Its part of the game! So, stay where you are and deal with it. Do not attempt to "minimize" your life in any DRASTIC way. You must try to stay stable and maintain. Do not stop looking for ways to stop homelessness. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD...... GO DOWN WITH A FIGHT! Do everything you can to stay afloat! Don't be the person trying to befriend homelessness! That will not work.

I know you're scared! I know that shame is hard. "If I stay here all my friends will see that I'm homeless". I get it, but let me tell you, if I could go back I would rather be around friends that know I was homeless than to be in a place where everyone knows I'm homeless but I have no friends. You are going to have to do your part as far as just sucking up some of that shame. However, you'll be MUCH better off that way.

If you have never been homeless before and you start to feel that shame settle in, just know you have two choices.
1: Shake hands with homelessness and introduce yourself as a friend;

2: Fight it with everything you have no matter how the shame of it feels! Fight it with every fiber of your life. Then IF you still become homeless it least you went down hard.

I have to tell you, because I'll always be honest with you and you deserve that from me, that when my number came up..... I choose #1.

I wish to God I had not done that! I even did it more than once (hints my spells) and I know now that it was probably the biggest mistake I ever made in life. Homeless spells often thrive off your past homeless spell comfort level.

Thats a different topic all together.

But knowing what I know now, if I had a chance to go back in time, I would have fought MUCH harder to keep a roof over my head. Everything was at stake and I just had no idea what I was up against.

But you, if you believe a single word I say, DO!

The choice is up to you!
Good Luck!

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1 comment:

Cody said...

Theres no shame in admiting your homeless so am I
I learned its not what you think or feel its about what you do about it