So, I'm sitting in church (the same one God was specific and adamant about me going to), minding my own business when God provided. God only told me to go. God said "go, learn, and wait". Nothing else. So I'm sitting there and a woman walks over to me. She said she wanted me to hang out after Church with her. She said she had to run home to pick up something she had for me that she forgot. I said sure! A little while after that another woman walked over and passed me a card. Turns out that the card (which was very nice) had $20 in it. Also, the "thing" that the woman had for me was a BIBLE! LOL, AWESOME! The Bible also had $5 in it.
I do not know why this happened. I did not ask for anything. Heck, for that matter I really haven't talked to anyone past a "HI, my name is Rob" sort of thing. They haven't asked me the questions that I felt I was going to be bombarded on me either, (thank God for that, I have to give them credit for that! Nice Church!) I think that is in part because I went to the Thanksgiving Day dinner they had for the homeless. I figured that if I want, they would just know I'm homeless and that would solve that problem. Just thought it was smart to do; plus the dinner was AMAZING!
A Bible and $25 was not in the works. I mean, I just blogged that I needed a Bible yesterday, and today it falls in my lap. All I can do is contribute this to at least one point that I consistently try to make when it comes to homelessness: God will provide. You just have to have faith. You might not be provided for in the way you want, but you will be provided in such a way that you can survive.
Like I said once before: I once went months without a single penny, yet not once did I go hungry. This is also the same point I hope to demonstrate while I'm walking. I don't know what will happen but I have no fear or doubts that God will be walking with me. God will provide as he sees fit. It is in this trust in Him that I will survive, and hopefully, bring lots of people to Him in the process, or at least plant some seeds.
This woman with the Bible has no idea what I'm going to do with it as far as my plan. She has no idea that before I'm done, hundreds, maybe thousands, of people will be touched by this single Book. I wanted to tell her. I wanted her to know what it meant to me and what I hope it will mean to lots of other people. But I couldn't. It was hard enough to keep myself composed and not start crying. I think she felt the same way. Somethings are probably better left unsaid.
The woman with the card and the $20 - the thing about her was that I can't even remember what she looked like. She swept in and out so fast I hardly got a look at her, let alone a chance to say "Thank You". I might walk by her several times and not know it was her. Maybe that's for the best though. Maybe somethings are better left alone. I have a feeling that walking up to her and saying "Thank You" might somehow "taint" the good feelings she is having right now. I don't want to do that.
SO, now the big questions is what do I do with the money -$25? I have a few options here as this is the first money ever donated to me.
Option 1: Spend it on me! A case of beer maybe, or maybe a bunch of cigarettes. Maybe some drugs! Anything that is frivolous and adds to the regular stereotypes that come along with being homeless.
Option 2: Do something that plays a part in the upcoming walk I'm about to take. I have a list for that after all. I should probably start working on it ASAP! I wouldn't feel bad for spending $25 on something to do with that because I feel that's going to a good cause. Well, it is!
Option 3: Spread it around. I could take it and maybe do something that will help someone else out. Like some of my friends on FB and Twitter. People I admire! People I look up to because I know they would make this $25 count. Maybe get some socks to give away. Carryfuller always does the hand warmers. I don't think anyone here in Tampa, FL will need those though (I don't think it gets that cold here, I surly don't need them). Maybe a few DD gift cards would work out. I could get 5 of them. Then at least 5 homeless people could come in on the cold days and get a coffee and little snack.
LOL, I'm trying to write this but there is this beautiful girl sitting a few tables down from me. She keeps looking at me with "the eye". LOL, ya, I know what that is!
I could never talk to her. I'm not good at things like that. Now, I have had girlfriends, don't get me wrong. I have even had some awesome girlfriends, but in the end it never works out. I always hear at the end, "Rob, you're a really nice guy, but you and I are just going in different directions". Usually that means "Rob, even though you are not homeless - any more - you walk a line too close to it for my taste". I've done it a few times. When, on that rare occasion when a girl is looking at me, I usually feel little anyways. I think that has to do with being homeless. So, I don't even bother! She could never have my back in the hard times. That's just the way it is! I can't blame her - what woman wants to be taken care of by a man that can't take care of himself! I can't blame them. I just have learned that while I'm dealing with this homeless mess girls are out of the question and a distraction.
SO..... moving on!
Back to the money! Option 1 is out of the question. I wouldn't act like that if it was my own money and earned it on my own. I'm sure as heck not going to do it with something someone gave me out of kindness. So option one is never going to happen. And the homeless haters can find something else to hate about me.
That leaves options 2 and 3: I do need my O.P. box pretty badly. That's been an ongoing problem and that would open a lot of doors for me. However, $25 could get me a LOT of socks to go around. Homeless people LOOOOVE socks. A DD card or Mc.D food card would be cool also. With a Mc.D card you could probably get 2 or 3 McDoubles and a medium drink which would make a pretty good meal.
I do need a new pair of shoes and I could get some now if I toss in an extra 5 or 10 dollars. I'll need a good pair of walkers for this walk. But I can do that later. Lets see, I think I'm going to help some homeless people with it today. I already have one thing that contributes to the walk today (the Bible). So, lets go with some socks and a few food cards from Mc.Ds . That sounds good! Lets see what I can do. Maybe I'll swing into the Home Depot on my way and see if I can find anything else that might work.
Either way, God provided!
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