It's a bit of the truth from where I stand.
Reading back through some of my older posts I begin to realize just how on-point I was about a lot of things, except my own life. Most definitely my post about Tampa Florida. Believe me, I wish I was wrong. I wish today I had no reason to write this post at all. I wish it was all different. I wish I was wrong about everything. And today I wish I never heard the words "homeless America" in my head.
Those two words - "Homeless America" - have led me back here and have compelled me to once again, take action. Why? Well, not that I'm an expert on the topic (plenty of people have lived on the bottom and have risen to the top), but because maybe my story here is not as finished as I thought. Maybe I have more to offer than "hey, I made it, thanks for reading". Or perhaps, I'm here again because I know so much of what it's like it wish for so much and never see it happen.
"Homeless America" - where did it come from? I think it came from my experiences in the streets. The feeling I had as a homeless person trying to make it up. It came from realizing (after 5 years) at some point in my life the part of me that loves to self destruct. And I did just that! And that's what left me in the streets.
How do I relate that to "homeless America"? Easy! I relate America's present state to my thinking, as a homeless person. In my mind, the two are intertwined.
As a homeless person, I could not help it that every day I felt anger, anxiety, fear, shame, indignation, envy, confusion and hopeless.
And today, as an American, I can't help but feel anger, anxiety, fear, shame, indignation, envy, confusion and hopeless.
Its not a coincidence. I know these feelings well. I nearly drowned in these feelings for years while I slept on park benches night after night. No, I'm not an expert! I just feel that today, I know what it feels like to be homeless. I've been there, and I made it out! So I can relate, and I can speak!